Gods Can Be Cruel

!st May, a new month started.Also the IPL match was there at 4 pm in Jaipur, Jaipur vs Knight Riders of Shahrukh Khan.I had no intention of ever going to see this or any match.The cheerleaders are already covered, and whatever else I want to see of them, I can better watch on the 29” TV, than at the stadium.And mind you, the Temperature  that day was 44 degrees.

Since morning I had  Loose Motions, happens once in a blue moon,nothing to write home about.Took some homemade remedies but partial relief.Was sitting in office  when comes the phone call from a friend of mine.He has 4 passes, and Two for him, one for my brother, and one for me.I said, I cant come, im down and out, and anyway who wants to watch these masala matches, in this horrible heat.

Well he said these passes are the ultimate. 12000 bucks each, the best here are.And you will be sitting in the AC Lounge of the stadium, with the high and the mighty,SRK and all,Drinks and Food, nonveg, the works are all included.Drink and eat as much as u want.And there was a Car Pass  given with  VIP written.I got interested immediatly, but mom and wife glared at me as i was not well.He even assured me that toilets are clean and u can go as many times u want.He was tempting me to come, like I tempt Tuffy with a biscuit.

Now for the VIP Pass, we need a VIP Car too.But my most precious vehicle the Baleno had gone for servicing, and I was left with the Van, but my friend was too ashamed to take the Van, he said we would rather go walking than be seen in a Van ! According to him, even SRK”s driver must be having a better vehicle.

Well I liked the offer.Now I had to make myself better.So off I went to lie down, told wife to massage my aching back,and took some homemade medcines, but alas to no avail.Ultimately Bhabhi went.

I watched the match on TV, and it was fun.The cheerleaders were covered up at the top, but the nice legs remained.When I called my friend to find out how were they doing there, he put lemon onmy wounds.Kamal, man the chicks here are great,sitting next to us,we are having beer with Chicken Tikka, Prawns,the works being served here on our tables,man u should have been here, etc etc.They were less interested in watching the match, than eating and drinking.Rascals.God can be cruel at times.I mean, loose motions he could hve given me, that’s OK, but why this day.He could have given me two days of loosemotions  but after the match.That way I could have consoled my self that I had a whale of a time,drinking hogging and ogling at Riya Sen, and other pretty nubile females sitting closeby,and that this was a decent price to pay for the luxury.But well God decided to play cruel to me..

God next time ask me when to give me what.Instead of one day, give me two days of suffering , but let those days be my choice.But anyway there are 4 more matches to come,and I may get a chance once again to go.and that day my friends I promise to literally empty my stomach by laxatives and not loose motions, and go to hog at the match.

And today;s papers said that the three most expensive teams, Mumbai of Ambani, Calcutta of SRK , and Mallaya’s Banglore, are all at the bottom of the table.And to imagine Jaipur was considered the weakest team , and now at the top.Jai Jaipur.

And today being Sunday is Dhoni vs Shane Warne.And the timing is perfect 8 pm, so is the day Sunday.But anyway I am going to Mumbai next week, and I shall arrange passes the best ones with  the cricket  contacts that I have built up there on my last visit.Who can refuse Kamalji’s company and chatter.Time will tell.

And in Mumbai the legs of the girls are covered, along with the top.And Jaipur the legs are open.Does this mean Jaipur crowd is more decent and trustworthy than Mumbai’s and other places. ! And today’s TOI ,Sunday says that these Cheerleaders, are from Russia, and are paid 25,000 per match to shake that .And they say, they don’t understand what is cricket.Not bad at all .I could shake a leg or anything for a fraction, but then the crowds will disappear

A Silly joke someone told me in the Garden today

Father and son watching IPL on  a huge screen at home.When the cheerleaders come on the screen, Fathers bends down to look up u know where.

Disgusted, the son tells the father “ Dad , this is not Ramleela at the maidan where u used to sit  in front of the stage, and bend down.This is a TV Camera.

With that note, Bye and sweet dreams of our dear sisters Cheerleaders.

KAMAL MAHTANI